I've written on this before. But with summer in full swing, I thought it was time for another rant on my least favorite fashion trend of all time: flip flop sandals.
Now that I've established that my feet don't take kindly to a web of fabric being wedged between my toes -- and that I honestly don't like shoes that announces my arrival with annoying sounds -- it's time to take it to the next level with a campaign to wipe out the acceptance of this abomination parading as footwear in all business establishments. Aside from the home and beach, they really have no place in decent society.
As a culture, we've already come to the conclusion that bare feet are not socially acceptable in the marketplace. And seeing that flip flops do not conceal the often grotesque human foot (hot women are excluded from this assessment) it would seem to me that a mere platform loosely attached to the bottom of this anatomical structure should not be, either.
It's a double standard. If you can't walk into an Olive Garden in bare feet, you shouldn't be able to sit down, scarf down a plate of Pasta Pomodoro, with exposed nail fungus, bunions, and subject the entire establishment to possible noxious fumes.
Once again, hot women with perfect feet please ignore my comments. Now that I think about it, perhaps there's another solution to this dilemma. How about allowing both bare, and flip flop adorned feet, in restaurants and shopping venues, if they are able to pass a foot inspection at the door. After a visual assessment is made, preferably by a licensed podiatrist, the acid test for gaining entry would be smell. Similar to drug sniffing canines, small dogs could be trained to hone in on any pair of feet emitting odors that are even remotely unpleasant.
Sure, you're probably thinking I'm crazy, and that there are plenty of other sandals styles that expose nearly as much of the foot as flip flops. Am I in favor of banning those, also? Nahhh. In reality, what this is really all about is that I hate any mass fashion trend that doesn't suit me, personally, and am prone to spend to let loose long winded insane, tedious, worthless rants for no other reason than to get it off my chest. I'm also prone to composing the occasional run-on sentence when I get in these moods.
I feel all better now.
As a culture, we've already come to the conclusion that bare feet are not socially acceptable in the marketplace. And seeing that flip flops do not conceal the often grotesque human foot (hot women are excluded from this assessment) it would seem to me that a mere platform loosely attached to the bottom of this anatomical structure should not be, either.
It's a double standard. If you can't walk into an Olive Garden in bare feet, you shouldn't be able to sit down, scarf down a plate of Pasta Pomodoro, with exposed nail fungus, bunions, and subject the entire establishment to possible noxious fumes.
Once again, hot women with perfect feet please ignore my comments. Now that I think about it, perhaps there's another solution to this dilemma. How about allowing both bare, and flip flop adorned feet, in restaurants and shopping venues, if they are able to pass a foot inspection at the door. After a visual assessment is made, preferably by a licensed podiatrist, the acid test for gaining entry would be smell. Similar to drug sniffing canines, small dogs could be trained to hone in on any pair of feet emitting odors that are even remotely unpleasant.
Sure, you're probably thinking I'm crazy, and that there are plenty of other sandals styles that expose nearly as much of the foot as flip flops. Am I in favor of banning those, also? Nahhh. In reality, what this is really all about is that I hate any mass fashion trend that doesn't suit me, personally, and am prone to spend to let loose long winded insane, tedious, worthless rants for no other reason than to get it off my chest. I'm also prone to composing the occasional run-on sentence when I get in these moods.
I feel all better now.
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