Ted Nugent to Attend State of The Union Address in Assault Rifle Get-Up

In case you hadn't heard, The Nuge has been invited to attend Tonight's State of The Union Address by Republican Texas Representative Steve Stockman. He'll be sitting in the gallery that overlooks the White House chamber.

Earlier today, it was announced by someone in the Nugent camp that Ted will dressed in a specially designed assault rifle costume. The name of the designer was not disclosed.

Photo by LM Otero/AP File

“The location of the magazine may be a little controversial,"”stated Nugent spokesman Earle Blamblam.  "Aside from that, I'm not at liberty to disclose any more information. You'll all just have to wait until tonight to see Ted in all his glory. Suffice to say, everybody will talking about this for days to come."

Hey, it just might be worth tuning in to see that get-up. As a general rule, I'd sooner whack myself over the head with a bag or oranges for two hours rather than tune into one of these long-winded, boring speeches. But a little drama is always appealing.

Lance Armstrong on MAD Magazine Cover

Once again, it's time for MAD magazine's yearly wrap-up all all things dumb. And the poster-boy the issue comes from the world of sports. If the answer wasn't already in the header, I'm sure you would have already have concluded that it's none over than disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong.

The issue, entitled The 20 Dumbest People, Events, and Things of 2012, depicts Armstrong, arms raised in the traditional cycling victory gesture, resplendent in the color of the maillot jaune. 

Yeah, it was a good choice. The man who holds the dishonor of being behind the biggest fraud in sports history certainly deserves a good hearty skewering. Honestly, you'd have to be dumber than garden produce (if I've used that simile before, I apologize) to believe you could keep such a massive campaign of deceit, bullying, and bribery secret forever.

Congratulations, Lance! You've finally made the big time.

President Obama Makes Counter-Proposal to Donald Trump

In case you haven't heard, Donald Trump has made a proposal to President Obama, today. If the POTUS will release his college transcripts and passport records by October 31, he'll donate $5 million to the charity of Mr. Obama's choice. 

Well, about an hour after the man who deserves to be listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as sporting the worst comb-over in history began another round of “Billionaire Media Whore,” the president came back with a counter-proposal:

“Mr. Trump, I appreciate your fair, generous offer. But you must do something for me, first. It's quite simple, really. All you have to do is make a public announcement that you will no longer clinging to the delusion that you're hair is falling out, and start combing it normally. You might even want to consider joining Hair Club for Men.”

At this writing, Mr. Trump has not responded.

VP Debate News: Is Paul Ryan Trying to Resurrect the Eddie Munster Hairstyle?

Holy shit, what an exciting Vice Presidential that was! The Obama/Romney debate could have been prescribed as a tranquiler. But these two really got in there and put on a great show. “Bunch of malarkey,” indeed you curmudgeonly old devil, you!

I got the feeling Biden was somehow, discreetly, taking hits off a canister of nitrous oxide for the first third of the debate. He was grinning more than Mitt Romney after a phone call from his accountant. But what the holy fucking deal was with Paul Ryan's hair? Does he seriously hope to bring back the Eddie Munster hairstyle? (Well, maybe it isn't such a bad do. Shhhh, don't tell anyone I said that.)

I'm not sure what all they were discussing because I was intermittently playing Texas Hold 'em Poker on my cell phone. I just kinda noticed the hair thing and the snickering.

This will all be over very soon, fortunately. Just four mores weeks and the farce is over.

Sarah Silverman Takes on Voter ID Laws

Sponsored by the Jewish Council for Education and Research, Sarah Silverman has thrown her edgy comedy into the political arena. (Remember The Big Schlep?) This time she takes on the Republican-backed voter fraud laws that have cropped up in quite a number of state that require residents to present a photo ID before hitting the polling booths. Apparently, that would leave disqualify millions of Americans – African-Americans, students, the elderly, primarily – who don't have a driver's license or any other form of identification with their picture on it.

It does all sound a bit fishy. But regardless of which side of the political fence you plant your feet, the goal of this campaign is certainly laudable. LetMyPeopleVote2012.com lets people know how to prepare themselves for November 6 by acquiring the proper authentication to comply with the laws if they happen to have the misfortune of residing in a state with these new laws.